Such a strange day

After spending the day on a boat with a wrinkly old man and his yellow teeth telling me about budgie smuggling and the girl who licked the flip flop in India to lose weight but then died, I didn't think my week could get any stranger.

How wrong I was.

Monday morning started like any self-respecting Monday morning: with an email from my boss telling me how "godawful" my recent work had been. Encouraging. As I moped around, a freak accident led to me managing to pull out the pyrex jug from under the counter armed only with a plastic bag, leading it to crash to the ground and smash directly on my foot. Now this is the second thing I have smashed in the flat in a week... I am starting to get a little worried. Not least because if you follow the superstition through these things are supposed to come in threes... What's next?! And will it also happen on a Monday? I must consult the stars...!



Actually, I should consult something, because that wasn't the only bad thing to come. In fact, at the precise instant that the Pyrex jug smashed on the floor and injured my foot, Krusty was receiving news that the buyers of his flat were getting cold feet and wanted to reduce the price of the sale. Poo. Just when we thought we were out of the dark and the sollicitor's had upped the ante, here we are finding out that there might not even be a sale after all... Then again, I reminded Krusty that if the sale falls through he still has a flat left that he can sell again; it's not like he has cancer or, like my friends, a two-month premature baby that's in ICU and has only just opened his eyes after two weeks... But that's another story.

Anyway, when Krusty got back from work we decided it might be a good time to go out for dinner and forget the day's news, so we staggered along our street to the "Sheung Wan Cooked Food Market", which had been intriguing us for a few days. Turns out it's just a hawker centre with incredibly cheap food stalls arranged around some tables. We chose the Nepalese stall, and we did not forsee what a huge international incident that would result in... The kind lady took our order and told us to sit where we wanted so we chose a table with two chairs just to the right of her stall. After our first sip of tea, a Chinese guy with a bad teeth and a cap came to us, screaming "this my table!" At first we just thought "fine, we'll just move", but our Nepalese hostess ordered us to stay put, scowling at the guy and telling us that these tables belong to everyone. Obviously there was a territorial history there, but we were just left white in the middle of the tiny but incredibly tough Nepalese girl and the tower of insults that was her agressor. After a while a heavily tatooed guy came to moderate the discussion, and we were just left with a room full of diners pointing and whispering at us. Scary!

We dragged ourselves home, exhausted from the excitement of it all, and just as we were turning the key in the door, we heard loud shouts coming from the roof. But of course the day wasn't over, what were we thinking?! We got up there to find Joseph, a Phillipino man from over the road, feeding a cable from the next building to our roof to get better reception. We asked him if he thought that was an OK thing to do on our property, but he proceeded to point out all of the other satellite dishes and long, long wires leading from our roof to all the neighbouring ones. Hmmm... Well, he was relaxed about it, the guard downstairs was relaxed about it, who are we, "office sharing" in a commercial building to complain?

So we finally went in and changed into our PJs. Krusty started telling me about his day and a company he had been reading about on the internet as I pulled on my trouser bottoms. Something was wrong though, like there was a breeze somewhere behind me... I touched the back of my trousers as Krusty continued his story. As soon as he said the company's name, Rearview, I found a GIANT tear in the back of my PJs through which my rear could be viewed by all. What an incredibly well-timed punchline to an incredibly long and ridiculous day!

I wonder what today will bring. The contractor is coming to knock a hole in the wall leading to our second bedroom, so I can only fear the worst...