This content has been removed

I have had to censor myself and remove the last 6 entries, because although I might just get fired soon, I don't want it to be because of my blog. Oh no, does that sentence need censoring too...?

So I am going to go back to telling you about my life here, or what little there is left of it. Like, for example, the fact that I managed to open a bank account today! I have tried four times already, and each time there has been some sort of a problem.

The first time, I didn't have a HKID card. So I went to Wan Chai, to the Immigration Tower, and got in line. Lots of people were complaining about the process while I was there, but they should have tried to get the same card 10 years ago! It used to be a stuffy room with no air con and a series of booths to visit without ever really knowing when it was your turn, how long it would take, and where you needed to be. Now the air is climatised, there is a digital board showing you when your number is up and only two booths to visit, where they take your digital fingerprint so that you can fast track through immigration at airports. Can't wait to try that out.

Only problem was that I hadn't realised that you only ever get one ID card in your life. I had assumed mine had expired, so I ticked the 'First time application' box, theory being that it was the first time on this visa. Big mistake. I was called a liar, literally, by the officer who told me that I had 'lost' my card and would therefore have to pay a fine. I didn't have time to argue, so I went along with him until he pulled up my old card and realised that it had been registered to my French passport, not the British one I had just presented him with, and that on my British passport I had a middle name that hadn't appeared on my first card. He then informs me that I have 'changed my name' and that I will have to pay an extra fine. Of course I was getting a little agitated by then, so perhaps I wasn't the image of calm that would have convinced him that I had not in fact changed my name, and that he could ignore my middle name if it made him happier. Besides, if I had wanted to change my name, surely I would have gone for something a little different from my exact same name with just an extra bit in the middle...

So I agree to pay the fine and sign on the dotted line. But wait! It seems that in the last 10 years my signature has changed too! Alright, how much is this actually going to cost?!

I left feeling like a criminal, and although it did look suspicious, it seems that a few dollars were all that was needed to be considered legitimate again. Hmmm...

Back at the bank, I am told that I need proof of address, and that a business card just won't hack it. But I kind of thought as much. So I ask for a debit note from my landlord, he emails it over, I go back to the bank (queuing for another 45 mins, as for each other visit) and am told that it doesn't have an official 'chop' so it cannot be accepted as proof of address. Hong Kong is very big on these chops, there are whole streets of little guys cutting them for businesses across town. It's their signature I suppose, and it does make it hard to forge a document probably, but how annoying for me, who very rarely sees my landlord and doesn't want to disturb him.

Anyway, my office finally gives me a contract document, with a chop, so I just took that to the bank, was told that my receipt for the ID was not valid, but that I could use my passport instead. Why didn't they tell me that in the first place?!

Never mind, I am now capable of being paid in Hong Kong, and that is a great thing. Now I just have to go and collect my ID and hope that I don't get arrested while I'm there...