Honkers Bonkers

We've been here for a week now, so I am taking advantage of feeling too squeasy to flathunt today to post my first entry on our new blog. Of course, I would love to say that my inability to leave the room is down to some dodgy dim sum, but unfortunately I think the culprit might be the unreasonable quantities of white wine consumed during our big Hong Kong reunion on Saturday night...

Anyway, after recovering from our leaving party (that other wine-fuelled bonanza) and managing to remove a glass splinter from my foot that I don’t remember actually getting in the first place, the flight went relatively smoothly. I managed to nod off (literally) every so often, waking up to Krusty doing lunges in the aisle with his noise cancelling headphones on saying, louder than necessary, 'this is just great for my circulation'. But, as embarrassing as this was, I still felt serene and glad to be rid of the heavy task of packing.

In fact I was abnormally calm and the whole adventure felt worryingly natural, as if I was coming full circle for the first time in my life. I wasn't at all excited, rather almost numb, but Krusty was cute enough to explain that this is because now we are each other's homes, and we don't need four walls and a roof to feel settled and comfortable. A comment at least as cheesy as a slice of camembert, I feel, but then I do enjoy a good bit of runny fromage...

Only problem is that we do still need new walls to house our coupled cheesiness here in HK. The year of the rat might just mean that we will have to live underground in a sewer-like environment, scavenging for scraps of uneaten Chinese food because so far I have seen a whole range of risible choices. One flat only had room to fit a sofa bed which, once unfolded, made it impossible to open or close the front door. And that cost £1,000/month! Another flat didn't have a kitchen and my surprise at this fact was brushed off by the estate agent with a cold and serious 'nobody cooks in Hong Kong'. My mistake...

A long string of other inconveniently tiny and impractically thought-out hovels were on the list, and I am now at the point where my faith in finding something acceptable is running out. As Krusty’s friend suggested, perhaps we should turn things around and completely ride out the ridicule of the situation by renting the tiniest flat we can find and filling it with a giant cuddly toy in the shape of an elephant, which we will never, ever talk about...

Of course the grim flat hunt hasn’t been made any easier by the fact that we have been put up in Le Meridien for the first couple of weeks. The room is huge, the sheets made of Egyptian cotton and the view out of the floor to ceiling windows offers us the sea, the mountain and a glimpse of the Royalton, where I lived the first time around. Perhaps we can just live here for a few years and just ‘forget’ to pay the bill? Well, at least the rest of the cost of living is quite cheap - I got myself an 'Octopus' card when I arrived and charged it up with about £10. A week of dashing around town later I am only down to £8.50! Same for my pay as you go mobile - I have only spent £2 so far, and I am almost surgically attached to the phone...

On the job front, I had an interview the morning after we arrived. Not ideal, but I wasn’t about to refuse an offer to work...until I got there. I first had my doubts when I had to fill in a form that finished with an evaluation grid which asked me to score myself on things like Attitude, Aggressiveness and Leadership (all essential editorial qualities, I am sure). Three hours and a half of interviewing and testing later, including an hour in a tiny cubicle armed with a 1990 PC and a floppy disk, I knew that not only could I not work in that environment, but that the subject matter of the magazine – jewellery – was best left to the imagination and fantasies of engagement rings. Who knew diamonds could be so boring?

Unfortunately they really put me on the spot by actually offering me the job right then and there, and I had to invent an impending business trip to explain why I couldn’t start that Monday... I felt terrible turning work down when I am of course unemployed, but I didn’t really want to take the first job that came along just for the sake of it. And of course it was a great ego boost – if I can get a job the day after my arrival, completely jet lagged and uninterested, then surely I’ll be OK to find something more exciting once I have settled in? I have two more interviews lined up this week, so fingers crossed they’ll like me too!

In an attempt to make myself feel better after turning down a job and not finding anywhere to live, I decided to drop in to see the bookshop where I worked eight years ago. The girls don't seemed to have aged one day, and it was so lovely to see their reactions to this ghost from the past walking through their door. Madeline has lost none of her outstanding generosity - she even gave me a ticket to see a play by Beckett that she couldn't attend that night, allowing me to surprise Marc, Julie and Jesse who thought the seat would be empty. As I waited for them in the HK Cultural Centre, my racing heart made the entire metallic rail vibrate. This was the first time that I had felt anticipation since leaving the UK, and I have no idea why I was so scared to see them. It was totally unjustified, too. I was so pleased once they arrived... Marc couldn't get over how English I had become. I am still trying to figure out what it is I am doing different!

Anyway, after a few more jam-packed days and one in Macau to get Krusty’s visa stamped, we met up with the old HK gang on Saturday to celebrate Cyrielle’s birthday. The arrival was a little shaky as I had completely forgotten how to be sociable, but then we took our shoes off, had an Egyptian meal on cushions on the floor and had a fabulous time. The whole group was there minus two, so it really was like going back in time. It’s just so reassuring to already have a social network in place and people to enjoy HK with or call in case of emergencies (such as sudden urges to shop, for example).

Now, if only I can find a way to ship all the people I love over from the rest of the world, we could all live happily ever after in this surreal, exotic bubble...