D-19, uh oh

Tonight I leave for France and I can't believe it has gone so fast. I have spent the last few weeks feeling tired, old, fat, stressed and I am now having a huge crisis of confidence... What if the wedding is rubbish? What if it rains? What if my family has a huge argument on the day?

Unfortunately it is exactly this sort of paranoia that leads to me drinking wine, which leads to me forgetting about the diet that was very much part of the to do list but never seemed to kick off, which leads me to feel low and self-loathing because I am 300kg heavier than I wanted to be, which leads me back to paranoia about the wedding.

I started this process almost a year ago not understanding why brides get so worked up about their wedding. I now completely understand, and in fact wonder why anyone bothers to go through with the whole thing in the first place. What a nightmare! I am sure organising the entire thing alone, on a tiny budget, and from the other side of the planet has not helped one bit, but I can see the obstacles even for the bride who is struggling with them on her own turf.

Let's see how I feel when's it's all over. I'm really looking forward to just getting there, finally, and enjoying one of the supposedly best days of my life. Then again Krusty has asked for there to be a room set up where he can nap during the day (yes, NAP...), so I'm not sure how stress free I'll be...

Hormone overload here I come!